I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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