I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
