i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize