I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize