Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
