why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
