the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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