What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
