That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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