I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
