She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize