i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
