was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
