I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
