saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
