Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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