we have pet lesbian snakes
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
