can u get pink eye on your cock?
Farmville is her only friend.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
