dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
