okay pat passed out under dana's car
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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