Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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