Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
