Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
We need to rekindle our bromance
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
