how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
farters have to be the big spoon...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
