I wanna bring you to show and tell
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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