the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
