Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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