it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
