You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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