i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
then he tried to convert me to islam
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize