if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Apparently you make a good broom.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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