How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
and she was petting her beer can
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
