I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
