I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
