i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
