in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
