Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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