Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
