Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
