I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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