Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
