I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize