Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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