Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
