are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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