i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
