First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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