Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
