I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
