dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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