after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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