I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
