You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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