used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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