Whats the glycemic index on semen?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
