Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
