Already got asked if we're dating
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
