He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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